You are a victor, not a victim

As little as 3 days post surgery I started working with a physiotherapist. However, I soon realized just how extremely important the rehabilitation of my hand will be to regain full range of movement. Not only to hold a golf club again, or to hit a 108mph drive down the fairway of a tournament, but general everyday use and perhaps even holding a tiny babe one day, if I am fortunate to have a bundle of joy.

70 degrees flexion, 6 weeks post surgery

70 degrees flexion, 6 weeks post surgery

This brought the change to start working with the occupational therapist on Dr Heras’s team. Blair Agero, has brought me to endless tears on multiple occasions, not because of the pain I have to endure during manipulations in order to regain full flexion and extension of my wrist, but because it matter so much to me to get back, better and stronger than before. He had to witness several meltdowns the past six weeks, but one thing I am holding onto is his positivity that I will regain full strength and more.

After a couple of meltdown sessions, I knew I had to let go of the expectations that I kept putting in place to recovery sooner than anticipated. I knew I had to let go of the fear that I will never be playing again. I knew I had to change my mindset and my focus. 

Once that happened, and I crossed that hurdle, rehabilitation was back on track. Although the flexion is limited due to scar tissue formation and attachment to the tendons, I knew we are finally on the right track. Using multiple techniques including laser treatment, micro tears in the scar tissue finally led to an increase in flexion (70 degrees). The hardest part of this was letting go, and not fighting the treatment plan. I had to surrender. As soon as I can fully extend and flex my wrist, the strength in the wrist and forearm will increase.

It sure is not a short and easy road, but I learnt so much about myself during this time. About the people I crossed paths with and everyones genuine intention to see me win this battle. The hardest lesson during rehab to date, was to change my focus. You must change your focus as you leave your past and embrace your future. You must begin to see yourself in new ways. By dwelling on what could have been, I have added unnecessary pressure to my expectations and prolonged the healing process. 

In short, lesson learned: Focus on your future. What you focus on is what captures your attention and your affection. Focus on the good things God has done for you, is doing for you, and will do for you.

-MG xx